iWish You'd Never Forget The Look On My Face

Im depressed again.
This needs to stop.
I really wish that I could find a job. I really wish that we could give this a go...but is that what I need. I know, I want a relationship. But do I need one. I really wish that I didn't have to move back to St. Louis because I can't pay my fuckin' rent. I really wish that I could be in Aubrey's life. I would be so good to him & he would be good to me. I really wish I had guidance. I really wish that he loved me. I'd love me. Im so lost in this transit music. It is taking me somewhere. Do I want to be there? Yes. Do I belong there? Yes. Do I need to be there? No. I miss him. I wish he's come back. I fear he is running wild in NYC looking for strippers and cocain. Ha! I feel sad...a lot. I feel stressed...all the time. Sometime I wish I were a somebody. I feel like a nobody here. Like Chicago is a high end high school and Im just a wanna be, second string...ninja geek. How am I gonna be someone if I leave now. I...I get so sad here. I feel so left out. I feel so misunderstood. I feel so dreaded. I am dreadful. No one will ever know me. Fuck This Shit!

Why Do We Waste Our Years On Hard Dick & Wet Pussy?

I kinda want a boyfriend G. IDK. My sister and her bf split and seeing her in this broken hearted agonizing pain...makes me want to be with someone. Here's the kicker though; I just want to be with someone so that I can have a bad break up and feel shitty for two weeks. I'm sick and twisted this I know. I just like pain...so I'm now on a mission to friend a bb...bbb...boyfriend. YUCK!

Just Another Beautiful Bitch In A Big City

Chicago is filled with talent and beauty, that's it. Both of those I poses. But when I'm in St. Louis its some other shit, because St. Louis isn't filled with talent and beauty. That makes it easy for me to stand out...I don't here in Chicago. I want to. I want to badly. I just haven't. I'm too fucking pretty and charming to not be able to get what I want outta Chicago. Last night I went to a nice lounge in Chicago, I was a pretty face this is true. But who was I really. No one. That can only fly for so long. I need to make a name for myself. I need to be seen. I will be seen.