Mannnn. Funky Computer=No New Mixtapes

Listen, do you know how hard it is to keep up with dope music when your computer is mad shitty?
Well, it's hard!
Lol I bought an external hard drive in hopes that it would speed my laptop up...wrong.
So, I am using my roommates computer to download a shit ton of mixtapes (my fav).
I've been on DJBooth, DatPiff, RefineHype, Made Monarchs blog, Lipstick Diaries, and Eazee Blog.
I must say I've got some dope ass shit. Like Mad Dope!
I got shit from DJ Shiva, Mike Posner, Chip The Ripper, Wiz new shit, Donnis, The Freshmen, umm some more Wale, uhhh...Oh Oh and my boy Orie and cuzzo William H new mixtape. Gotta show love to the fam and friends! Plus hellas more. I might have downloaded 20+ mixtapes. Lol
But, I'm happy with what I've got.
I'm just waiting for Tax Free Weekend so that I can cop that Macbook Pro. So sweet.
On some other shit...I'm in STL till November. Its cool. I know its for the better. I can pay off shit, buy a computer, and go to school and raise my GPA so that I can get into UIC when I move back to Chi.
(I'm low key in love) HA!
But when am I Not???

Gyeah!

Fuckin' With The Lights On

Why do guys do this to themselves?
Haha! I'm a bitch.
Neck?

icantbelieveitiainthadacrushinyears...heylover

So, its been a bit. No one reads these, who cares. Lol
Between stalking my new crush and watching Freaknik repeatedly, I've had time to realize that...I Shouldn't have came home to St. Louis. Really? I mean, what am I doing here (beside looking like a Craigslist fen for a gig in Chicago)? Plus and on top of all this, I have a crazy crush. Like I'm probably perfect...sooo, why doesn't he give me the time of the day. GAY! Lol Whatever G. I need to get back to Chicago ASAP! I've only been here in St. Louis for like 2 weeks and I'm going mad crazy! So, Im hoping and praying to get into Flashpoint, a media arts school. I'd study film/video. I hope to become either a Music Video Director or A Porn Director...or both. Either way, either ways fine. Seriously. I'm gonna change things around. I have to. And I gotta snag this guy guy.

I Understand...(I think, you can never tell what is REALLY planned out for you)

So, the bday has past...obviously. I wanna do marathons! My mom & I have done one together last summer. It was great! Also, my freshman year in college my soccer team did one. I love being a part of something larger than me, something that has more meaning. I really want to do the GO! marathon in St. Louis with my mom this upcoming Spring...THEY ARE ALL SOLD OUTTA THE HALF MARATHON!!! UGH! I'm highly upset. But, it is ok. I can do the Lewis and Clark & the 5K Memorial with my mom is St. Louis. I need to start running more AND taking my meds. Also, Ive decided to start volunteering. I mean I have no job sooooooo...WHY NOT!?! I still need to find a job like cRaZy! Lets hope I do soon. OR it's back to St. Louis I Go! Lol I Wanna start taking better care of my body. This shit is redic...

iWish You'd Never Forget The Look On My Face

Im depressed again.
This needs to stop.
I really wish that I could find a job. I really wish that we could give this a go...but is that what I need. I know, I want a relationship. But do I need one. I really wish that I didn't have to move back to St. Louis because I can't pay my fuckin' rent. I really wish that I could be in Aubrey's life. I would be so good to him & he would be good to me. I really wish I had guidance. I really wish that he loved me. I'd love me. Im so lost in this transit music. It is taking me somewhere. Do I want to be there? Yes. Do I belong there? Yes. Do I need to be there? No. I miss him. I wish he's come back. I fear he is running wild in NYC looking for strippers and cocain. Ha! I feel sad...a lot. I feel stressed...all the time. Sometime I wish I were a somebody. I feel like a nobody here. Like Chicago is a high end high school and Im just a wanna be, second string...ninja geek. How am I gonna be someone if I leave now. I...I get so sad here. I feel so left out. I feel so misunderstood. I feel so dreaded. I am dreadful. No one will ever know me. Fuck This Shit!

Why Do We Waste Our Years On Hard Dick & Wet Pussy?

I kinda want a boyfriend G. IDK. My sister and her bf split and seeing her in this broken hearted agonizing pain...makes me want to be with someone. Here's the kicker though; I just want to be with someone so that I can have a bad break up and feel shitty for two weeks. I'm sick and twisted this I know. I just like pain...so I'm now on a mission to friend a bb...bbb...boyfriend. YUCK!

Just Another Beautiful Bitch In A Big City

Chicago is filled with talent and beauty, that's it. Both of those I poses. But when I'm in St. Louis its some other shit, because St. Louis isn't filled with talent and beauty. That makes it easy for me to stand out...I don't here in Chicago. I want to. I want to badly. I just haven't. I'm too fucking pretty and charming to not be able to get what I want outta Chicago. Last night I went to a nice lounge in Chicago, I was a pretty face this is true. But who was I really. No one. That can only fly for so long. I need to make a name for myself. I need to be seen. I will be seen.